Yesterday the dual birthday party was disastrous fun. Batteries did not come with a truck for one and a memory stick was needed for the camera of another, but both siblings had immediate gratification from ice cream cake, pizza, and family; giggles and happy shrieks of friends added to the flavor of the day at the blowing out of candles -- a safely familiar touchstone time for children living their new normal inside the turbulence of divorce.
Today is both the same and a completely a different Monday for the stepping stair four: The three girls wriggled out of beds, brushed teeth and hair, snuggled into clothes while eating breakfast and flew to the school bus, after kissing their little brother and their Dad goodbye....then Daddy left the house so Mommy could go back to the house until Tuesday when Daddy comes back again -- until Wednesday until Mommy comes back until Friday when Daddy comes back until next Monday when Mommy comes back...until....
So next weekend for our son and grandkids is Hannah Montana weekend. With our family circling around them, we will try to help the smiles go further than skin deep. "Suffer the little children...for such is the kingdom of heaven."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A House Divided
Every spring there are these fresh, hyacinth-tipped days, always beckoning me forward toward joy -- anticipated delights -- like the sounds of a million winter-hard hibernations awakening with delighted yawns and laughing trills, or of energies breaking free in bursts of color waiting to dazzle --of Life yearning to Be.
I know those things are outside -- outside right this very second within the yellow sun-slant of the afternoon and the boisterously happy barking of the dog. She tracks birth-prints with oxymoronic serious abandon -- innocent in her hapless hunting.
But I am still tired, a stretched thin tired. I saw the nest you see and I thought, oh, well...it will pass...I should not make too much of it. I am probably being too harsh. It was a stupid mistake, but I was tired;last year was hard and the winter long and barren. And of course, there's the part about peace and not being judgmental. Sad justifications all: Now the snake is loose and its plots are hatched, and for people I love...there will be hell to pay. Spring will have to wait.
I know those things are outside -- outside right this very second within the yellow sun-slant of the afternoon and the boisterously happy barking of the dog. She tracks birth-prints with oxymoronic serious abandon -- innocent in her hapless hunting.
But I am still tired, a stretched thin tired. I saw the nest you see and I thought, oh, well...it will pass...I should not make too much of it. I am probably being too harsh. It was a stupid mistake, but I was tired;last year was hard and the winter long and barren. And of course, there's the part about peace and not being judgmental. Sad justifications all: Now the snake is loose and its plots are hatched, and for people I love...there will be hell to pay. Spring will have to wait.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Transition
The crackly switches and piles of wintered brown round my yard scatter into jigsaw puzzled heaps,break into haphazard flight with the wind and tumble down as birch and elm and maple pick-up-sticks -- finding rest at the lake -- caught inside the participled now. The ice thaws and my earth swells;little sprigs of spring wink green. God winks back: Time to paint.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday, the Wait of Time
This day before Easter Sunday is waning. There was a buzz about its meaning in the blogosphere today. I think it's fair to say the upshot is that these hours, this life of mankind measured in years and months and days, was changed in one last breath after Jesus said "It is finished." And then the waiting, the Saturday of mankind began. Always drawn toward the morning star, we stumble and search for sight to find our way out of the collective darkness.
Tomorrow with the Light once again there will be a rising and inside all creation there will be joyous noise from bird and bee and man for the fulfillment of the great I AM, and the great I AM THAT, and the great I AM THAT I AM -- the Alpha and the Omega --death and the weight of Time defeated, trinity complete and eternal love offered by the Son. It's gonna' be a good day.
Tomorrow with the Light once again there will be a rising and inside all creation there will be joyous noise from bird and bee and man for the fulfillment of the great I AM, and the great I AM THAT, and the great I AM THAT I AM -- the Alpha and the Omega --death and the weight of Time defeated, trinity complete and eternal love offered by the Son. It's gonna' be a good day.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Divine Discontent
Yesterday somebody got me to thinking about divine discontent. He was in favor of it. I hear caution bells. Discerning the difference between the personality's desire and one's spiritual desire is a Solomonaic task I believe, one requiring much soul searching and prayer. It is easier to act impulsively with a rush of good emotion; that often times ends up with the unintended consequence of having a large ego blast as a hangover!
If one is to get mobilized to action or fired up for some cause, it seems to me that the script of the drama ought to be a spiritual one -- not to be confused with a psychologically/politically correct Morals play that has one cast as saving the world: Christ already did that.
Action prompted by spiritual drive is not worldly, by definition. The result most assuredly would reverberate in the world, but the originating idea put into action... ahh...there's the rub: Judas got that mixed up...and he was not alone. A good many well meaning Jews thought Jesus came to be their physical king so that their lives and the worldly kingdom would change. Not so.
Our egocentric selves feel grand and holy when we are part of a great cause, a drama for the world... giving money or time to a poverty stricken tribe overseas for example. Not that that is a wrong use of casting our bread on the waters, but why is it harder to put our hands out in friendship with a burger to the hungry person loitering at the dumpster 'round midnight at McDonald's? That kind of act would be facing the poor up close and personal in all the gritty reality, stripped of any attendant glamor. It could be scary AND nobody would see you. Nobody would know except that one lost sheep and ...of course, the Good Shepherd.
How many times a day do we have chances to sing in harmony with our divine purpose and we don't hear the notes because ...well, because maybe they don't seem quite grand enough?
I think we should question our own motives about so much emphasis on the big picture until the little picture is tenderly nurtured... That focus could be a major rationalization. What is the saying? "Bloom where you are planted." God planted me here in this nation that does still have problems -- in this state that does still have problems -- in this town that does still have problems -- in this family that does still have problems...inside this "me" that does still have problems!
Divine discontent ends when one accepts that Christ is the way and that He lives in you. You are no longer disconnected from your source or your god ... because of His grace, because of Calvary.
I wonder if a motivational speaker urging worldly action is feeling his/her own need for spiritual maturation deeply enough to mistake the personal desire with a spiritual calling...and then attempt to urge others to save-the-physical-world.....perhaps there is some vicarious need being filled. Perhaps that speaker is the one who needs to act instead of preaching action ... I don't really know...Just wondering if perhaps at the crux of the matter is that the cross tends to urge all of us to shift roles as our understanding deepens and/or our comfort level gets a tad too comfortable. Might be worth thinking about...
If one is to get mobilized to action or fired up for some cause, it seems to me that the script of the drama ought to be a spiritual one -- not to be confused with a psychologically/politically correct Morals play that has one cast as saving the world: Christ already did that.
Action prompted by spiritual drive is not worldly, by definition. The result most assuredly would reverberate in the world, but the originating idea put into action... ahh...there's the rub: Judas got that mixed up...and he was not alone. A good many well meaning Jews thought Jesus came to be their physical king so that their lives and the worldly kingdom would change. Not so.
Our egocentric selves feel grand and holy when we are part of a great cause, a drama for the world... giving money or time to a poverty stricken tribe overseas for example. Not that that is a wrong use of casting our bread on the waters, but why is it harder to put our hands out in friendship with a burger to the hungry person loitering at the dumpster 'round midnight at McDonald's? That kind of act would be facing the poor up close and personal in all the gritty reality, stripped of any attendant glamor. It could be scary AND nobody would see you. Nobody would know except that one lost sheep and ...of course, the Good Shepherd.
How many times a day do we have chances to sing in harmony with our divine purpose and we don't hear the notes because ...well, because maybe they don't seem quite grand enough?
I think we should question our own motives about so much emphasis on the big picture until the little picture is tenderly nurtured... That focus could be a major rationalization. What is the saying? "Bloom where you are planted." God planted me here in this nation that does still have problems -- in this state that does still have problems -- in this town that does still have problems -- in this family that does still have problems...inside this "me" that does still have problems!
Divine discontent ends when one accepts that Christ is the way and that He lives in you. You are no longer disconnected from your source or your god ... because of His grace, because of Calvary.
I wonder if a motivational speaker urging worldly action is feeling his/her own need for spiritual maturation deeply enough to mistake the personal desire with a spiritual calling...and then attempt to urge others to save-the-physical-world.....perhaps there is some vicarious need being filled. Perhaps that speaker is the one who needs to act instead of preaching action ... I don't really know...Just wondering if perhaps at the crux of the matter is that the cross tends to urge all of us to shift roles as our understanding deepens and/or our comfort level gets a tad too comfortable. Might be worth thinking about...
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Back to Blogging!
Seems worlds away from where I was the last time I wrote here. My birthday has passed and so has my husband's. The AARP continues to want to be our new bff.
Our new president was sworn into office at the same time that our prodigal son returned; both are setting their houses in order, literally! (By the way, I see no point in opposing President Obama because he is not as pro life as I am. He is the president and I have this very old fashioned notion that God IS in control; so, let's give the president a chance; you don't know where God's hand will lead him.)
My family discovered Facebook, found some dear old friends, and made some new ones, including one of the cohosts of Midday Connection, which comes online live at 1:00 est -- Moody Broadcasting Network. It's really a good program, especially for those of us who are of the female persuasion.
God Tube turned into Tangle, a family friendly site for silly and serious videos and song ...and blogs, which made me remember this one...Thot' I'd dust it off, break the winterized coverings, and let the spring shine in! So, here's to the Holy Week and Easter, or Resurrection Sunday -- whichever you prefer. I don't think Jesus cares about our religious correctness any more than He does about our political correctness. I believe he just cares that we consciously accept Him as the way, the truth and the life...and that we accept his gift of grace as we try really to fathom the depths of what 'grace' really means.
The little blue rectangle at the bottom of the screen automatically pushed iself into its "save now" mode. Today is two days until Good Friday -- so Save Now sounds right to me! :)
Our new president was sworn into office at the same time that our prodigal son returned; both are setting their houses in order, literally! (By the way, I see no point in opposing President Obama because he is not as pro life as I am. He is the president and I have this very old fashioned notion that God IS in control; so, let's give the president a chance; you don't know where God's hand will lead him.)
My family discovered Facebook, found some dear old friends, and made some new ones, including one of the cohosts of Midday Connection, which comes online live at 1:00 est -- Moody Broadcasting Network. It's really a good program, especially for those of us who are of the female persuasion.
God Tube turned into Tangle, a family friendly site for silly and serious videos and song ...and blogs, which made me remember this one...Thot' I'd dust it off, break the winterized coverings, and let the spring shine in! So, here's to the Holy Week and Easter, or Resurrection Sunday -- whichever you prefer. I don't think Jesus cares about our religious correctness any more than He does about our political correctness. I believe he just cares that we consciously accept Him as the way, the truth and the life...and that we accept his gift of grace as we try really to fathom the depths of what 'grace' really means.
The little blue rectangle at the bottom of the screen automatically pushed iself into its "save now" mode. Today is two days until Good Friday -- so Save Now sounds right to me! :)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Three Prayers for the Three Children
Psalms 33:18..."Behold, the Lord's eye is upon those who revere and worship him, who wait for him and hope in his mercy and loving kindness." And so in this day when miracles still do happen, having had my prayer answered, I wait for His eye to continue to guide my insight -- so that I become a true and clarity filled expression of mercy and loving kindness in this dark, but promise filled moment for my own prodigal son. For this day and night, and for the inevitably difficult talks in months to come, I pray for wisdom in Jesus name, Amen.
For my daughter a different verse: Psalms 34:1..."I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together." So I pray for my daughter of Eve's time of conviction to come so that she will find peace and take not umbrage but comfort in being her brother's keeper ... I pray in Jesus name, Amen.
And for the eldest: Luke 24:1 ..."But on the first day of the week, at early dawn the women went to the tomb, taking the spices which they had made ready. And they found the stone rolled back from the tomb. But when they went inside, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. And while they were perplexed and wondering what to do about this, behold, two men in dazzling rainment suddenly stood beside them. And as the women were frightened and were bowing their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among those who are dead?" He is not here, but has risen!" And so my son, our erstwhile Billie Budd, as you are already at the doorstep, do not travel to Emmaus, but travel on to Jerusalem to be with your family! I pray in Jesus name, Amen.
For my daughter a different verse: Psalms 34:1..."I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My life makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble and afflicted hear and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together." So I pray for my daughter of Eve's time of conviction to come so that she will find peace and take not umbrage but comfort in being her brother's keeper ... I pray in Jesus name, Amen.
And for the eldest: Luke 24:1 ..."But on the first day of the week, at early dawn the women went to the tomb, taking the spices which they had made ready. And they found the stone rolled back from the tomb. But when they went inside, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. And while they were perplexed and wondering what to do about this, behold, two men in dazzling rainment suddenly stood beside them. And as the women were frightened and were bowing their faces to the ground, the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among those who are dead?" He is not here, but has risen!" And so my son, our erstwhile Billie Budd, as you are already at the doorstep, do not travel to Emmaus, but travel on to Jerusalem to be with your family! I pray in Jesus name, Amen.
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